Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Planning On No Plan

I have learned many things during the past 16 months as a mama. I have changed many of my ways, which I believe has been for the better, although it hasn't always been easy. 
Prior to having my son, I was pretty rigid. Spontaneous wasn't a word that most people would have used to describe me. I didn't need or want to be. I enjoyed the comfortability of  making a plan and executing it. 
And then I became a mother. And my life changed. Drastically. I might make a plan for the day, but I also plan to scrap the plan. Wake up times vary. Inevitably, on the days we have something to do early on, Luke sleeps until 8 and then we have to rush a bit. On days that we have nothing to do and it is gloomy and cold, he wakes at 6. While I may sigh and wish I had an extra hour or so snuggled under the covers, waking to the sweet face of my baby next to me makes it impossible to be upset. 
Nap times vary. Most days, he naps from 11ish to 12ish. Some days, like today, he wakes at 8, and doesn't nap until 1230. Bedtimes vary. Most days, he goes to sleep for the night at 7. Some nights, he is exhausted and ready for bed at 6. And other days, I can't get him to even consider bedtime before 9. 
It is what it is. Just as we, as adults, do different things on different days, so do our children. I don't expect Luke to fall asleep at 11am on the dot every day. I want him to be able to nap when he needs to nap. Even if that means that I have to be very flexible with my "plan" for the day. 
But what about a routine?! I love the idea of a routine. If I could schedule my time to the minute, I would. But as a stay at home mom to a toddler, routine is now a very loose term. I like to consider our routine to be: wake up, breakfast, nap, lunch, dinner and then bed. In between all those times, we play, explore, read, sing, dance, run, climb, paint, jump, laugh and love. 
I don't need to be so caught up in the idea of a routine that it becomes a negative concept. So we just go with the flow. There are lots of deep breaths in our house, lots of shrugs, and lots of choices to say "it is what it is". 
For us, planning to have no plan is what works best.